Friday, June 15, 2007
For Enemy of The Republic
I know life has got you down. I know you are upset over the recent death of a good friend. You have had to endure much pain.
Too many losses.
You are not alone.
I get that way myself.
I used to get so depressed that I would sit alone in a dark room with a .357 magnum and play Russian Roulette all by myself.
Thank God I never won.
Or maybe I did.
Sometimes the pain of mere existence becomes almost too much to bear.
I climbed down off the wagon today.
I didn't fall off, it was a conscious decision made in an entirely sober state. There are things that I can say this way that I can't say otherwise.
Like you, I am feeling somewhat down. Sunday is Father's Day. I have a post prepared for that and it was the preparation that made me cry. And crying is what made me think of you and your losses.
We do what we can with what we have.
Since my Mother died I have been, well, a wreck. She was my rock, my anchor. In spite of everything, my unsavory way of life, my associates, my drinking and drug abuse, my criminal activities, my time in prison, she was the only one who always believed in me.
Until I met Maggie.
Even with Maggie, it isn't an easy row to hoe. But she's the reason I haven't taken the razor sharp katana off the wall and committed sebuku.
You have your very own Maggies, Love, your son and your husband.
Leave God out of this for a moment,( and I know that is a hard thing to do). Find your joy in those who love you and love them back as hard as you can.
That is the answer. The only answer. And live this life as long as life will let you. God will love you always anyway.
Your friend and blog bud,
"I have no fear, Angels follow me where-ever I may go>"