Saturday, October 30, 2004

White House Of Horrors!

Lizards Of Oz Posted by Hello

(Once again, thanks to Ruthie at Any Which Way! If you haven't already, check them out for a good dose of Common Sense and Lefty Humor!)

White House of Horrors

Dick Cheney peaked too soon. We've still got a few days left until Halloween.

It was scary enough when we thought the vice president had created his own reality for spin purposes. But if he actually believes that Iraq is "a remarkable success story,'' it's downright spooky. He's already got his persona for Sunday: he's the mad scientist in the haunted mansion, fiddling with test tubes to force the world to conform to his twisted vision.

After 9/11, Mr. Cheney swirled his big black cape and hunkered down in his undisclosed dungeon, reading books about smallpox and plague and worst-case terrorist scenarios. His ghoulish imagination ran wild, and he dragged the untested president and jittery country into his house of horrors, painting a gory picture of how Iraq could let fearsome munitions fall into the hands of evildoers.

He yanked America into war to preclude that chilling bloodbath. But in a spine-tingling switch, the administration's misbegotten invasion of Iraq has let fearsome munitions fall into the hands of evildoers. It's also forged the links between Al Qaeda and the Sunni Baathists that Mr. Cheney and his crazy-eyed Igors at the Pentagon had fantasized about to justify their hunger to remake the Middle East.

It's often seen in scary movies: you play God to create something in your own image, and the monster you make ends up coming after you.

Determined to throw a good scare into the Arab world, the vice president ended up scaring up the swarm of jihadist evil spirits he had conjured, like the overreaching sorcerer in "Fantasia." The Pentagon bungled the occupation so badly, it caused the insurgency to grow like the Blob.

Just as Catherine Deneuve had bizarre hallucinations in the horror classic "Repulsion,'' Mr. Cheney and the neocons were in a deranged ideological psychosis, obsessing about imaginary weapons while allowing enemies to spirit the real ones away.

The officials charged with protecting us set off so many false alarms that they ignored all the real ones.

President Bush is like one of the blissfully ignorant teenagers in "Friday the 13th'' movies, spouting slogans like "Freedom is on the march'' while Freddy Krueger is in the closet, ready to claw his skin off.

Mr. Bush ignored his own experts' warnings that Osama bin Laden planned to attack inside the U.S., that an invasion of Iraq could create a toxic partnership between outside terrorists and Baathists and create sympathy for them across the Islamic world, that Donald Rumsfeld was planning a war and occupation without enough troops, that Saddam's aluminum tubes were not for nuclear purposes, that U.S. troops should safeguard 380 tons of sealed explosives that could bring down planes and buildings, and that, after the invasion, Iraq could erupt into civil war.

And, of course, the president ignored Colin Powell's Pottery Barn warning: if you break it, you own it.

Their Iraqi puppet, Ayad Allawi, turned on Mr. Cheney and Mr. Bush this week, in a scene right out of "Chucky.'' Mr. Allawi accused coalition forces of "major negligence'' for not protecting the unarmed Iraqi National Guard trainees who were slaughtered by insurgents wearing Iraqi police uniforms. Iraqi recruits are getting killed so fast we can't even pretend that we're going to turn the country over to them.

If you really want to be chilled to the bone this Halloween, listen to what Peter W. Galbraith, a former diplomat who helped advance the case for an Iraq invasion at the request of Paul Wolfowitz, said in a column yesterday in The Boston Globe.

He said he'd told Mr. Wolfowitz about "the catastrophic aftermath of the invasion, the unchecked looting of every public institution in Baghdad, the devastation of Iraq's cultural heritage, the anger of ordinary Iraqis who couldn't understand why the world's only superpower was letting this happen.'' He told Mr. Wolfowitz that mobs were looting Iraqi labs of live H.I.V. and black fever viruses and making off with barrels of yellowcake.

"Even after my briefing, the Pentagon leaders did nothing to safeguard Iraq's nuclear sites,'' he said.

In his column, Mr. Galbraith said weapons looted from the arms site called Al Qaqaa might have wound up in Iran, which could obviously use them to pursue nuclear weapons.

In April 2003 in Baghdad, he said, he told a young U.S. lieutenant stationed across the street that H.I.V. and black fever viruses had just been looted. The soldier had been devastated and said, "I hope I'm not responsible for Armageddon.''

Too bad that never occurred to Dr. Cheneystein.

NY Times

Happy Halloween!

Vote Kerry-Edwards and the Entire Democrat Ticket on November 2nd! It's time to send the Lizards Of Oz packing!


Monday, October 25, 2004

Thoose Damned Liberals...

(Thanks to Ruthie at Any Which Way)

Sunday, October 24 2004 @ 12:54 AM EDT

Contributed by: Ruthie

I recieved this in an email from my mother tonight. It was so good that I felt it was front page material.



Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water for his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging commie liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.

With his first swallow of coffee, Joe takes his daily medications. His medications are safe to take because some evil lefty bomb-throwers fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised. All but $10 of Joe's medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some fire-breathing lazy union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. Never would he turn it down.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In his morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo! His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is healthy because some environmentalist wacko troublemaking militant fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

Then Joe walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants limp-wristed freethinking idiot fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some fire-breathing Viet Cong-loving union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these high standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union in. So Joe benefits from what others have gained.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a workers
compensation or unemployment check because some stupid pinko troublemakers didn't think Joe should lose his home because of a temporary misfortune.

At noontime Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal red wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression. He can thank that Stalinist Franklin D. Roosevelt for that.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist pointy-headed liberal decided that Joe and the whole society would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. That's okay, but the bastards tricked him because he has to pay taxes. Bush will fix that, he tells himself.

Joe gets home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government New Deal Stalinist liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

Joe is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating Marxist made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that over the decades the beloved Republicans have fought to defeat every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees with the talk-radio loudmouth: We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man and a good Republican and I believe all Americans should take care of themselves, just like I have!

Thanks again Ruthie! If this doesn't say it I dson't know what does!


Sunday, October 24, 2004

From Ruthie, With Love...

Signs? Posted by Hello



by Barbie McGee

Okay, I’ll tell you what I really think: people who are planning to vote for George W. Bush are stupid. I’m sorry to have to say that, but it’s true. If you’re voting for Bush and are not stupid, feel free to write and prove to me that you are actually quite intelligent. (I reserve the right to quote from your letter in future articles.)

But frankly, if you are reading this, you are probably not voting Republican—which, in my opinion, means you’re smart. Yes, you, and I are smart—but what’s with all those dingbats out there who are planning to vote for Bush? Do they not realize that someone who utters the ridiculous crap that pours from his mouth1 is not just inarticulate or shy, but a moron? You or I may be capable of the odd infelicitous phrase, but we don’t go around spouting such an array of nonsense that entire books can be published of our "isms."

I admit, Bush is probably capable of the kind of management that a particularly adept frat boy might be good at—getting the best price on a keg, pulling off the meanest pranks, etc.—and he’s a pretty good liar. But it is clear to anyone who saw him in the debates that he always says the same thing over and over, like a Stepford Wife, and it had clearly been fed to him by someone else, perhaps through an earpiece. He has always refused to have press conferences, and why? Because he is just, excuse me, too damn dumb to conduct them without making an ass of himself. Maybe I could not hold a press conference without a gaffe here or there myself. But I did not volunteer to be leader of the free world. He did. Why? Probably because he was trying to outdo his father, or his brother, or he figured being president was a lot like being elected to student government in high school—it meant you were popular. All I know is that if you want someone to do the most important job in the entire world—the job with the most riding on it, the job that has the most potential impact on the course of contemporary history—you should try to find someone with credentials and brains.

If you’re smart.

Stupid people don’t like to be lectured to by people who know what they’re talking about, like Al Gore in the 2000 debates. I admit, I found Gore’s petulant sighing a bit off-putting (though why was his mic turned way up?)—but I didn’t blame him. Can you imagine the humiliation of having been Vice President for eight years, a senator before that, and then having to engage with a bozo like Bush in a discussion of world affairs? It would be like trying to talk about Kant with your four-year-old nephew; you’d sigh, too.

But stupid people resent those smarty-pants types who know everything. "He thinks he invented the Internet," the stupid people guffawed about Gore.

This summer, the Stupids were up in arms because in their opinion—which was fed to them by Bush’s PR factory—John Kerry did not deserve all the medals he won. Even if this were true, wasn’t it unfair to subject Kerry to questions about his medals when Bush scammed his way in and out of the National Guard so as not to have to go to Vietnam at all? (But supported the war.) It’s undeniable that Kerry volunteered to go to Vietnam, and that his opposition to the war when he returned was based on his acquaintance with the facts about what was going on there. If we are using fair criteria—which no one ever is these days—we would have to conclude that based on what we know to be true, Kerry showed courage both in going to war and in opposing it, and Bush was a big chickenhawk.

Stupid people will believe anything about Kerry if they’re told to because the plain fact is, they don’t like him. Why? Because he’s well-educated, well-spoken, and well-informed. Whereas Bush is well-heeled, well-oiled, and well-packaged. And stupid. You could go have a beer with him, or maybe six. Why? Because he’s just plain folks. That is to say, stupid.

I’m not saying I’d want to have dinner with John Kerry. I find his Brahmin manner a bit difficult, and if he had asked my advice before running for president, I would have suggested he go to the same elocution coach who taught Bush to talk like a Texan. But I’m not voting for someone I want to have dinner with, or even a snack: I’m voting for someone who will not lead us into war with Iran, who will not appoint Supreme Court justices that will set the legislative clock back a hundred years, and who will not use terrorism as an excuse to abrogate our remaining civil liberties. I am looking for a president, not a pal, and, while I’m at it, for liberty and justice for all, not a bunch of twisted rhetoric fashioned by crypto-fascist elves and then piped into George W. Bush’s stupid ear.

Is Kerry going to haul us out of the political, fiscal, and ethical mess we’re in? I don’t know if anyone can. But if I had to put my money on who would be most likely to send us all straight to hell, I would put it on Bush. And not just Bush himself—who is probably too stupid to destroy the world on purpose, just by accident—but on his evil henchpeople who, unlike him, know exactly what they’re about. They are not stupid—they are evil.

You could argue that it is worse to be evil than to be stupid, but I think it is worse to be stupid. Intelligence—and education (which the Bush administration very sensibly works to destroy)—are the enemies of evil. If we understand that something called a "Clear Skies Initiative" will result in more pollution—if we know that calling something "Operation Iraqi Freedom" will not in itself provide freedom for Iraqis—if, in short, we are Smart, then evil cannot thrive in our midst; we will root it out, vote against it, laugh at it and send it packing.

But if Americans are stupid—and according to the recent polls that place Bush slightly ahead of Kerry, most of us are—we are easy prey of whatever Karl Rove-like creatures crawl from under rocks to manipulate us. When the Bush administration announces a terror alert to chase something they don’t want us to know off the front page, the Stupid fall for it. If you’re stupid, well, you’re basically a sucker.

So is John Kerry the greatest candidate ever to press the public’s flesh? Perhaps not—though we have no way of knowing, since most of the media are biased not toward the left, as is sometimes alleged, or even toward the right, but toward the Stupid, who would rather talk about Botox than budgets. My suspicion is that if he wins, he will turn out to be a fine president; he’s fair and decent, and most important, he thinks—though the Stupid call that "flip-flopping." (For a good look at a real flip-flopper, compare Bush’s 2000 campaign promises to what he’s actually done.)

So I’m voting for Kerry. And so should you. Why? Because we’re smart..


Barbie McGee is married to protest singer Yikes McGee.

1"Tribal sovereignty means that, it's sovereign. You're a—you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And, therefore, the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities."—Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004. From Slate

Thanks Ruthie.


Vets For Kerry

The Not-So-Swift Vets are liars. Plain and simple. Here's further testimony to back that up.

Working Families e-Activists

Jim Wasser, Navy Radarman, 2nd Class, Swift Boat PCF 44, Electrical Workers Local 176, Joliet, Ill.Gene Thorson, Navy Engineman, 2nd Class, Swift Boat PCF 94, Plasterers and Cement Masons’ Local 21, Des Moines, Iowa

Thursday, Oct. 21

We served with John Kerry on swift boats in Vietnam. We saw him under the toughest conditions you can imagine. John Kerry could never be shaken.

That’s the steady strength we need to lead America. We know that as president John Kerry will never waver in keeping America safe. And we know John Kerry will never back down in the fight to rebuild our economy and protect America’s working families.

From what we’ve seen in the past four years, the Bush administration just doesn’t care about good jobs or the middle class. John Kerry does—and he has a real plan to create good jobs and keep them here in America rather than shipping them out to other countries.

John Kerry is a fighter. President Bush has spent too much of his time—and our money—fighting for the rich and big corporate interests. John Kerry will fight for us.

John Kerry will overturn President George W. Bush’s overtime pay take-away. He’ll make sure we can get decent, affordable health insurance for our families. He’ll repair and rebuild the crumbling schools our kids go to and help us afford to send them to college. John Kerry will protect Social Security and pensions so after working a lifetime we can retire in dignity.

We trusted John Kerry with our lives. We trust him with America’s future. And we urge you to vote for John Kerry on Nov. 2.


Smirkey says...

Smirkey says "oo oo oo - eeee-ahhhh!" Posted by Hello

(To the tune of "Smokey The Bear")

Smikey The Chimp
Smirkey The Chimp

Prowing & A' Growling
When he's really such a wimp!

Coulda served his country
Just like Lt. John

But he's just a little pussy boy
Afraid to get it on!



We Can Do It! Posted by Hello

Okay. this one is for all the girls out there. Last election the largest bloc of voters who didn't vote was single women. Wassup girls? "Smirkey the Blow Monkey Awol Deserter" is seriously down on you! He's against pro-choice, (guess he's never been pregnant, doh!), is a Fundamentalist Born Again Christian, (where-in YOU are subserviant to your mate), and basically regards YOUR intelligence as insignificant! (It's a MAN's world)!

Well Ladies, Fuck him! It's your world! It's your sisters and brothers and daughters and sons who are dying in Iraq because this Asshole is a stupid, incompetant tool of the Project For A New American Century!

It's Your family that is sufferring due to "Smirkey's" anti-American domestic policies! Do we really want a President who believes that American families are best served by outsourcing American jobs?

Sisters, it's time to step up to the plate and make this Neandethal Neocon Male Chauvinist Pig answer for his actions!!!

You have the power to make the differance! You can change the course of America for the Better! You can insure that your Sons & Daughters don't die for nothing! You can insure that yourselves and your husbands will have a job to go to tomorrow and a future for your children beyond that!

Ladies, As Rosie once said, "YOU CAN DO IT!"

Vote Kerry-Edwards on November 2 and save our country!!!


Rip 'em down, then nobuddy will know...

Where do I put this? I can't tell my asshole from my mouth? Posted by Hello

Well, the stupid shit has finally come to my neighborhood. This weekend Kerry Volunteers canvassed the neighborhood, seeking support for Kerry-Edwards. In doing so, they posted Kerry-Edwards signs on telephone poles, right under Bush-Cheney signs!

Last night, some incredibly stupid, (well, maybe not so incredibly... sigh), Bush supporters tore down the Kerry- Edwards signs.

What a bunch of fucking morons! What can they possibly be thinking? "Duh, if we tear down alla dese signs, nobuddy will no Kerry is running and den Our Hero, "Smirkey da Chimp" Will win hands down!"

Today I posted my own signs for Kerry-Edwards. I made them on my computer. My daughter and I posted them all over the neighborhood. I asked the morons to do me a favor. Rather than tear down my signs, drop by my placee for an appropropriate asskicking rather than sneaking out in the middle of the night to do their "Re-pug-nicant Dirty Work". Address has been posted. No takers so far. What a bunch of cunts.