Friday, April 13, 2007

War Czar? Or Fallguy?

In an effort to turn the tide of the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, President Bush is seeking to create a new position which can be loosely described as a "War Czar".

The new position would require someone with the Stature to interact with Top Ranking Administration Officials such as Uncle Tom's Condoleeza Rice, Secretary of State, and Iraqi Officials, as well as the military know how to manage two wars successfully. So far the three retired Generals who have been courted for the position, retired Army Gen. Jack Keane, retired Air Force Gen. Joseph W. Ralston, and retired Marine Corps General John J. "Jack" Sheehan, a former top NATO commander, have all declined. Some less respectfully than others. Sheehan was quoted as saying, "The very fundamental issue is, they don't know where the hell they're going," Sheehan went on to say he believes that Vice President Cheney and his hawkish allies remain more powerful within the administration than pragmatists looking for a way out of Iraq. "So rather than go over there, develop an ulcer and eventually leave, I said, 'No, thanks,' " he said.

Pretty smart guy, huh?

Do you think maybe General Sheehan and the others view this exalted new position as what it really is, a Fall Guy or Stooge to take the blame when the current Surge to end all Surges fails? Could be.

(I can remember when the same logic was applied to creating the position of Drug Czar, a lofty position sought feverishly by deuddersun until I learned that the position involved stopping the flow of "illegal" drugs, not sampling and distributing them!)

As a patriotic American, I hereby submit Private Gomer Pile, U.S.M.C. as the perfect candidate. He's solid, loyal and used to abuse. Lord knows Gunnery Sergeant Vince Carter has done all he could do to condition Pvt. Pile to abuse!

Pvt Pile makes sense in other ways too. In addition to being a perfect Bush Administration Stooge, he might just be able to run our wars better than the man currently doing the job, the Commander In Chief, George W. Bush, who's own military career closely parallels Piles! As an added bonus, Pile already comes with his own Theme Music which can be heard through the link below.

Gomer Pile, USMC

Semper Fidelis!


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