A recently uncovered "Secret" Memorandum from the CIA has revealed what we have feared all along - Dick Cheney is a Robot, programmed by Rove, Wolfowitz and other Neo-Conservatives!
Further proof of this startling allegation occurred at the Annual Senate photo shoot on the Senate Floor, when Cheney became agitated at Sen. Patrick Leahy (D - Vermont) over Leahy's criticisms of Cheney and his alleged ties to his old firm Hallitosis-burton. Witnessess described Cheney as a cross between Robot Commando, (a popular robot toy from the '60's) and the "Lost In Space Robot", wildly waving his arms and shouting "Fuck You Will Robinson! Danger! Danger!" Eyewitless testimony from others present at the Photo Shoot indicated that smoke was pouring out of Cheney's ears and his eyes were revolving wildly in opposite directions. One concerned Senator allegedly doused Cheney with a glass of water, hoping to cool him down, but instead completing the short circuit that eventually shut him down.
It was reported that Cheney was removed from the Senate by Secret Squirrel to an undisclosed location where he is undergoing repairs by that "Epitome of Evil" the Brain, and his somewhat mentally challenged assistant, Pinky. It has been rumored that Pinky and the Brain are actually the real force behind the Bush Administration and the Neo-Con movement, as Pinky was overheard saying, "What are we going to do tonight, Bwain?" To which the Brain cryptically replied, "Same thing we do every night, Pinky, try to take over the World!"
Cheney curses senator over Halliburton criticism
From Steve Turnham
CNN Washington Bureau
Thursday, June 24, 2004 Posted: 6:14 PM EDT (2214 GMT)
Read the real story here.