Understanding The Opposite Sex

A lot has been made about the "War Between The Sexes". Books have been written, "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Hell", and yet we seem no closer to understanding each other. Although both men and women use the same language, the meanings behind the words remain as elusive and hard to grasp as an 18 year old jello wrestler.

In an effort to bring the sexes together and bridge the communications gap, I offer the following:





(Thanks to Cartoonstock.com for the image!)



DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

* 40-ish..................................49.

* Adventurous..........................Slept with everyone.

* Athletic................................No breasts.

* Average looking.....................Moooo.

* Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.

* Emotionally Secure..................On medication.

* Feminist...............................Fat.

* Free Spirit.............................Junkie.

* Friendship first.......................Former Slut.

* New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places.

* Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s

* Open-minded.........................Desperate.

* Outgoing..............................Loud and
embarrassing.

* Professional...........................Bitch.

* Voluptuous...........................Very fat.

* Large frame...........................Hugely fat.

* Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.



DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

* Yes.....................................No

* No......................................Yes

* Maybe.................................No

* We need...............................I want

* I am sorry.............................You'll be sorry

* We need to talk......................You're in trouble

* Sure, go ahead........................You better not

* Do what you want...................You will pay for this
later

* I am not upset........................Of course, I am
upset, you moron!

* Fine!............................................Dead Man Walking

* You're attentive tonight............Is sex all you ever
think about?



DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:

* I am hungry...........................I am hungry

* I am sleepy............................I am sleepy

* I am tired..............................I am tired

* Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!

* I love you..............................Let's have sex
now

* I am bored.............................Do you want to
have sex?

* May I have this dance?..................I'd like to have
sex with you.

* Can I call you sometime?..............I'd like to have
sex with you.

* Do you want to go to a movie?......I'd like to have sex
with you.

* Can I take you out to dinner?........I'd like to have sex
with you.

* I don't think those shoes go with that
outfit..............I'm gay.

Thanks to Cindi Albeser for the above clarifications!

d.

One For The Ladies...

This one's for the Gals...

Click the link above, then click open, then click on the numbers!

Note: You need to have Power Point Viewer installed in order to view this! Free Download here.

(5 minutes on 56k dial up, 1 minute on broadband)

Enjoy!




(What I woulda looked like if I had listened to me Mudda and ate my veggies!)

d. (not Christopher)

Annuder Saturday Night...

So, like it's Saturday night and I'm hangin' out, chillin. Enjoying a lil "Happy Air" and surfin' the net. Got the Wiseguy Show on Sirius playin in the background 'till the Flyers come on at 7. After that, boxing on HBO. After that...well, I guess that's up to the Magster, heh...heh...heh... All in all, a pretty good night for an old fart.

So I got to thinkin'...

A while ago I got all over The Moderate Man onnaconna he wanted to hang up blogging - at least for awhile, and here I was...not bloggin' nuttin'! What the fuck? What kind of an asshole does that make me? Yet I find myself faced wid a dilemma, see, I just haven't felt like blogging, especially about the more serious subjects I usually rant & rave & whine & cajol about.

So I figgered I'd start out by just shootin' the shit about whatever comes to mind, (my mind that is, you worry about what comes to yours).

First thing is, Thanksgiving was fuckin' great! Wish I'da taken pictures, but, I didn't, lol! Had it at the beautiful home of Magster's niece, 'Mare and her terrific family, Husband Mike, and their beautiful children, Melissa and Shaun. We were joined by Mag's sister, Rosemary and her husband Big Jim, (also a Marine), and also 'Mare's Mom & Dad. On top of this I was looking forward to an exciting football game on television between the Tampa Bay Bucanneers and the hated Dallas Cowboys.

The only problem here is that, (for those of youse who haven't noticed), we live in Philadelphia. And 'Mare's husband Mike! Mike!

Mike...

...is a fucking Dallas Fan.

It was all Mag's could do to keep me from wearing my "Fuck Dallas" Tee-shirt. Insisting that it might somehow damage the young minds of her niece's children, and ignoring my protests that their innocent, little minds were already fucked up by having to live with a Father who worships the Dallas Fucking Cowboys, she dam near ripped it off my back!








That's me in my beloved "Fuck Dallas" Tee-shirt! Due to the fact that the Magster's brain-housing-group seemed to be reeling from an assault of microwave mind control beams emanating from the secret lair of the Kristian Coalition, (and birthplace of the Flying Monkeys in the Wizard of OZ), Crawford, Texas, I was reluctantly forced to leave it home, in it's place of honor on a hanger in my closet, until Dallas plays Philly again, (when all concerns about being "rude", "obnoxious" and "profane" mysteriously disappear from the Philadephia city limits...provided they are directed against the Hated Dallas Fiends!).

(By the way, betcha didn't know Elvis is actually alive and well, living in my basement and an Eagles fan!)


So I ended up wearing the hat I have on in the picture. As I mentioned, Dallas was playing Tampa Bay on TV Thanksgiving Day and, needless to say, when I showed up in my Eagles hat the fun began immediately.

Now Mike's a great guy 8 months out of the year, but the four months dedicated to pro-football are like a full moon to a werewolf when it comes to Mike and the Dallas Cowboys. Boy can't help himself. "Normal Mike" goes away and the beast that shows up in his place is adorned with a sneer, a drawl and a Dallas Cowboy Jersey with the number "81" and the name "Owens" emblazoned across the back.

Our opening conversation went something like this:

d.: Hiya Mike, Happy Thanksgiving!

Mike: Christmas came early for me when McNabb went down for the year! AAAAAAAAAH! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!!

Get the picture?

Anyway, dinner was great, even though Dallas won, Mike gloated, (as if I like the Tampa- fucking-Bay Bucanneers) and I came away educated to the facts that:

the Eagles are stupid for not giving in to TO,

the Eagles are stupid for keeping Andy Reid as Head Coach,

the Eagles are stupid for making bad draft picks,

the Eagles are stupid for being so cheap,

and the Eagles are doomed so I might as well get rid of my stupid Eagles Hat.

Now all of the above may be true, but ya don't have to rub it in my face whilst I'm tryin ta stuff said face witcher wife's turkey dinner!!

Oh, just one more thing.

The Eagles play the Dallas Fucking Cowboys on Christmas Day.

I'll have my tee-shirt on.

Mags will be wearing a tinfoil hat!

I can't wait.

d.

Rosie The Riveter

This is a re-post from earlier days,but I can't say it any better now, so...

Memorial Day would be incomplete without a proper tribute to the unselfish contributions and sacrifices made by American women. While today's Armed Forces afford women with the opportunity to serve in combat theatres, it wasn't always so. Yet the contributions made by American women, our women, enabled us to win World War II. She may have been your Mother or Grandmother, your Aunt or Sister or Wife. She picked up the slack and went to work, fueling the War Machine that saved the World from Nazi Tyranny and Japanese Impearialism, and nobody embodies her efforts better than Rosie The Riveter.

So, today, Memorial Day, let's remember all the Rosies. I would like to encourage everyone to visit the Rosie The Riveter Website and see who the real Rosies are.

Thank you ladies. Thank you very much.

deuddersun


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday, May 29, 2004

Real Rosie the Riveter remembers

By Kevin Cullen
Gannett News Service


Rosemary Comer didn't lead a charge, drop a bomb or sink a ship, but she and 6 million other women helped win World
War II.

They were defense workers, or "Rosies." They assembled machine guns, built tanks, fabricated airplanes, and helped change the role of women in American society.

The new Rosie the Riveter-World War II Home Front National Historical Park in California honors them, and Comer recently compiled her story for its archives.

"We were all there for the same reason: to get production out so our boys could do a good job, with good equipment," says Comer, 78, of Lafayette, Ind., who riveted war plane parts from 1943 to 1945. "We were dedicated workers and proud to be on the job."

With millions of men in uniform, women worked in steel mills, shipyards, foundries, machine shops and automotive plants converted to wartime production. In some industries, 80 percent of the labor force was female.

They provided "critical, crucial service" to the war effort, says Purdue history professor Nancy Gabin, an expert on the subject. By taking jobs traditionally held by men, they cracked old stereotypes.

"Rosie" Comer made parts for fighters and bombers at the Hudson Motor Car defense plant in Detroit.

In 2000, the new national park opened at a World War II shipyard in Richmond, Calif.

It recently launched a nationwide effort to collect stories, artifacts and personal histories from surviving "Rosies" for museum exhibits and archives.

"Almost everyone had someone in the service. We all banded together, all nationalities," Comer says. "It boggled your mind to think about what you were making, and doing such important work."

Drives were held in the plant to collect blood for the wounded. Comer weighed less than the 110-pound minimum for donors, but she gave, anyway.


The "Rosies" cleared a paycheck of about $40 a week ... good money in 1943. But the greatest satisfaction came from "seeing the finished product you made," she says. "It was fabulous."

After the war, plants returned to peacetime production, defense workers lost their jobs. Most "Rosies" were replaced by returning veterans.

The war helped Comer grow from a "bashful, backward girl into a confident married woman," she says.

A memorial at the new national park bears these words: "You must tell your children, putting modesty aside, that without us, without women, there would have been no spring in 1945."

"I was a part of it," Comer says with a smile. "I can't believe it."




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

God Bless The Marine Corps...

Where Every Day Is A Holiday...

And Every Meal Is A Feast!!!

Happy Birthday Marines!

Semper Fidelis!

The Marine Corps Hymn

(Click on the little green arrow, not the link!

Thanks to R. Lee Ermey for the clip!)

UPDATE!!!

MARINES!!!! You are abso-fucking-lutely

ORDERED

to visit

R. Lee Ermey!

DO IT!

NOW!

d.

Finally...

America Wins!

Baby Pichur?

Soooooooooooo,
a bunch a guys,
mebrudder included,
who happen to belong to the same Fraternity that I do,
have been posting their baby pichurs on their websites.

Now, I guess it 's my turn.

So, okay.

Here I am as you would have seen me just a few scant years ago, ( ahem)!

OH!

Sorry, this is Now!

Sorry.

Sorry bout that.

Scroll down.

Thank you.

d.

You Can Have Yer Army Khaki's...

Now if this don't get yer knickers wet...




In the spirit of Brotherhood,

with only those who can truly know what it means,

I humbly submit my "baby pichur"

Semper Fi Brothers!



Uh, where are our Sisters?

I Feel Like I'm Fixin Ta Die

This has been brought upon you by:

scroff

moderate man

Gordon

Fixer

and...

Bulldog

I plan to update this as more and more of us crawl out of the woodwork. For a look at the whole crew of Left-leaning, unpatriotic, 'Merica-hating, sociopaths, check this out at Mod Man's place!

What A Weekend!

damagster's Pride & Joy



We had quite a few plans for this past weekend. None of them included this.

Friday night I got a phone call from damagster. She was upset and shaken, (but not crying, magster is a tough little tomato). It seems she had been waiting to make a left turn onto I-95, on her way home from work, when a Lexus, attempting to beat an SUV, hit her. The oncoming lanes were reduced at that point, from two lanes to one, due to roadwork and this idiot decided he had to get there first. He wasn't even close.

I'm not going to say anymore about this due to legal ramifications, but, fortunately, no-one was seriously injured, (Mags is very sore, with a huge bruise where her shoulder harness was, a cut leg and a fat lip). I spent Saturday taking pictures like the one above and getting Police reports, etc.

So now we have to decide what to do about another car. We still have my Dodge Ram pick-up and a little Mitsubishi puddle-jumper, but that car was Mag's baby. I have wanted to get her a new car for some time, but she loved that one, so I redid it for her to the tune of $8,000. For the record it's a 1988 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme with a new engine, paint job, vinyl roof, sound system, etc., etc. Monday I'm having it towed to a buddy's body shop and if the frame isn't bent, I'll get it rebuilt again. Hey, it's gonna cost me either way, buy a new one or fix the old one. Since she loves this car so much, well...

On the other hand, if it can't be made right, I kinda like the Chrysler Crossfire or the Caddy CTS-V, but it's not up to me, it's up to my Lady. Either way, we'll be allright.

d.

Extreme Makeover

Well, he went and gave me admin rights here... he may be sorry...

Let me know what you think of the new look of deuddersun says...

Please let me know of any bugs or errors you encounter...

If you can't do that for us...

then go the fuck home...

I'll find them myself...

useless bastards...

I said please...

Hey, wanna hear my theme song for this week?